First Look vs Aisle Reveal: Which is Better?

What is the difference between a first look and an aisle reveal?

 A “first look” is when couples see each other before the wedding ceremony. On the other hand, an “aisle look” is when couples first see each other walking down the aisle.

First Look

This is a  moment for just the couple, before the ceremony, typically alone and away from guests, family or wedding parties. It is often a very intimate, emotional and beautiful moment between the couple and captured at a distance from their photographer and videographer. This moment allows couples to connect, share their excitement and be together without distractions. Some couples prefer this approach because it allows them to calm nerves, exchange personal vows, and have some quiet time together before the hustle and bustle of the ceremony and reception.

When you have a first look, you have a lot more freedom in your wedding day timeline. Couples have the ability to take their first look, wedding photos, couple portraits and photos with their wedding party all before the ceremony. Depending on how large your family is, couples can also do all of their family photos before the ceremony. What this means, is by the time your wedding ceremony comes around, the “work” is over. When you get photos done before the ceremony, you can head straight to cocktail hour. This way, you get to enjoy more time with your guests! This advantage alone is enough to make more traditional couples reconsider a first look.

And, we’ve heard from our clients that even with a first look, the moment of seeing each other as they walked down the aisle to each other was still just as special and emotional, just a little less nerve wracking.

Aisle Look

This is the more traditional approach where the couple see each other for the first time as one of them walks down the aisle during the ceremony. This moment is typically more public, with all of the guests witnessing the reaction of the couple as they see each other. It holds a special significance in many cultures and is often considered a highlight of the ceremony itself.

If not planning on seeing each other before the ceremony, couples often opt for an in-between: some will hold hands, or say a hello with a wall between to still have a moment together, without seeing one another. Don’t be afraid to find something “in-between” that works for you.

The biggest thing to consider for your timeline when staying traditional and doing an “aisle look” is leaving enough time after the ceremony to complete photos. Couples portraits, wedding party photos and family photos all need to be completed after the ceremony and may impact a couple’s ability to attend cocktail hour before the main reception. This is all do-able, and an experienced planner and photographer can make all of this happen without extending your cocktail hour too long. 

As planners, we always start this conversation with couples with how relaxed they want to be that day, or how nervous they feel they will be. An “aisle look” can leave the day feeling a bit more rushed than a first look timeline, but it is always up to the couple what they’d prefer - there truly is no wrong answer!

To conclude, a wedding day should be a reflection of a couple’s unique vision, where they feel most comfortable and authentic. Ultimately, it is about creating a day that aligns with their dreams and allows them to celebrate their love exactly as they envision it! And a great planner will help achieve this, no matter what “look” you pick!

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An Introduction to Wedding Stationery

Save the Date

From the moment you say “I DO” to your venue, you can let guests know the date! Having a Save the Date is not always necessary, you can skip straight to an invitation, but it’s a fun way to announce your celebration, while also giving guests key information to lock it into their calendars.

Save the Dates can be either printed or mailed, whichever suits your budget or the method by which you hope to collect information. Online save the dates are great because you can ask for mailing addresses if doing a printed invitation (more on that later!) and you can also direct guests to a wedding website right away with any other general details you wish to share at that time.

The Invitation

Online versus printed wedding invitations - a tale as old as time. We love both, and they both come with pros and cons that all can be weighed by the couple’s needs, wants or vision for their day. There is no right or wrong answer - just your personal preference! Here are some pros and cons of online and printed invitations!

Cost-Effective & Eco-Friendly, but Limited Design & Personalization

Having an online invitation means no printing costs and no traditional postage costs. And of course, no hassle with the mail system! It also means you are reducing your impact on the environment from paper to carbon footprint with delivery implications, which is a huge factor for many couples. However, often using online invitation websites or platforms can limit your ability to add some key personal touches, or design your invitation to its fullest. Some websites allow you to upload your pre-designed image, but not always. Some websites also have digital postage fees for sending out your invitation so it’s something to keep in mind.. Physical invitations also can hold sentimental value and lots of guests treasure them, hold on to them, or frame them to keep them. 

Convenient, but maybe too convenient

Online invitations are convenient - your guests get them instantly to their email inbox, with no hassle or waiting for print shops, mail systems or delivery. Online is easy to access, and you can get instant responses from your guests, as many online systems include immediate RSVP options. However, online invitations can sometimes get missed in an email inbox, end up in someone’s spam box or a guest may have already unsubscribed from the platform you’re using, eliminating some of the efficiency perks of the site. It can also be too convenient in the ability to respond right away, that some guests might put it off and cause a delay.

Couples also sometimes comment that online invitations reduce the feeling of exclusivity, or an ability to represent them as a couple. Having a printed version often achieves just this, which is why it can be such a popular option.

Having a mailed invitation, while a tangible memory, is also exciting - who doesn’t love getting a beautiful envelope addressed to them!? In a technology-focused world, it is so nice sometimes to receive a hard copy of something, personalized to the guest from the couple. Though slower, receiving a printed invitation is always worth it. 

Easy to Share, Quick to Update but only if Guests are Tech-Savvy

Online invitations are easy to update, revise, change, etc. and often have message broadcasting services on the back end, making it easy to communicate with your guests should there be a major change to your wedding day. They also can embed an RSVP option, which is then tracked on the back end in a seamless online, exported document.

On the flip side, some of your guests may not be tech-savvy or unfamiliar with the digital tools, causing them to struggle to access the information you're providing. Or, if someone lives abroad or in a remote area, online access may be limited which leaves them unable to respond in the time you’d like them to. Some guests may also have privacy concerns, or not feel comfortable using an online system.

A common compromise? Having a dual system - the majority of your guests receive an online invitation, while select guests, or older guests, receive a printed version to either be mailed or hand-delivered by the couple themselves. Having Trouble Hearing Back from Vendors

In the beginning, give them grace. A lot of vendors spend a lot of time working outside their emails, especially during a busy wedding season! Monday is our Sunday! However, if you are consistently not hearing back from them, politely explain that you would like more communication and provide them the opportunity to explain their work style, hours and response times.

However, before getting to this place, it is important to set these expectations early and have these conversations! We all work hard, and things can be crazy busy, but be sure to protect what you’re expecting based on details outlined in the contract.

The Day-of Signage

Welcome Sign

A welcome sign greets your guests as they arrive, and also helps as directional signage should you be somewhere that has multiple weddings, or multiple locations.

Directional Signs

Often used on private property weddings or in venues where there are multiple events happening, this helps direct guests to the various areas they need to go to during a wedding day, especially if the property is larger or there aren’t staff there to direct 

Cleland Studios, Fable Floral Design, All That’s Lovely, Harding Waterfront Estate

Will Reid Photography, Paper and Poste. University Club of Toronto

Seating Chart

The name explains itself! This sign helps guests know where they are seated. Our best advice is to sort this alphabetically by last name, so that guests can easily find their name during cocktail, or just after, before taking their seat in the main reception area. Sorting by table will slow down the time it takes guests to find their names.

Bar Signs + Signature Cocktails

Bar signs, though often venue-provided, can be a fun way to include images of furry friends or to indicate signature cocktails with a fun name! It helps to integrate an overall theme even in the bar area consistent with your other wedding branding.

Will Reid Photo, All That’s Lovely, Bloom and Co.

Mango Studios

All That’s Lovely, Cleland Studios

Napkins

A fun inclusion is personalized napkins at a wedding during cocktail hour with passed hors d’oeuvres or at the bar. We’ve seen so many versions over the years: furry friends, quotes, couples monograms or initials, love letters couples used to write to each other, etc. The sky is the limit!

Table Numbers

As part of the overall table decor, your table numbers are a beautiful representation of the colour, vibe and theme on each guest table and help to seamlessly tie in your vision. These should be easy to read and stand out against the other decor you have on the table.

Place Cards

These handy cards indicate where guests are sitting at your table, and can be tied into your aesthetic with the menus and table numbers matching, having the same font styles, colours etc. Place cards can also be helpful to servers when a meal choice is indicated on the place card versus a menu. You can also be creative in how the meal choice is communicated - perhaps it’s a floral graphic in the bottom left corner for beef and the top right for chicken. Or if you’ve included a crest in your wedding branding, B for beef or C for chicken is subtle but clear.

Menus

A helpful tool to remind guests of what they are eating for each course, throughout the night, etc and also ties into the design of the tables and other stationery pieces. It is also helpful to personalize each menu to the guest’s meal choice, and can also have their name at the top if not doing a formal place card. This also removes any confusion with guests changing their minds on the wedding day and impacting the kitchen’s efficiency of service.

For Your Party, Christine Lim Photography

Statue Rue, Robin Sassi Photo

Christine Lim Photography, Sugarbones

Christine Lim Photography, All That's Lovely

Receiving Table 

• There are a variety of options you can have on your receiving (welcome) table to include additional signage, indicate to guests what is there, or to honour loved ones. 

• Examples include signage for: In Memoriam, Guest Book, Card Box, Gifts, Favours

In summary, wedding stationery is an essential part of wedding planning that serves both practical and emotional purposes. It not only conveys important information but also reflects your style and helps create a memorable experience for you and your guests.

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A Guide to Centerpieces for Rectangular Tables

We’ve talked before about how to design a wedding tablescape and the appropriate linen sizes for different tables.

Today we want to speak specifically about best practices for rectangular tables. Creating a stunning tablescape with florals and candles requires careful planning to ensure both beauty and functionality. For a rectangular table, the width plays a crucial role in determining the layout, balance, and available space for candles and flowers while still being mindful of dinner service essentials like bread baskets, salt and pepper shakers, and other serving pieces.

Below is a guide tailored to three common table widths: 30", 36", and 40".

Understanding Table Width and Space Allocation

Each table width offers different opportunities and challenges when designing your tablescape. Keeping dinner service elements in mind will help you strike the perfect balance between elegance and practicality.

30" Wide Tables

• Best for: Intimate gatherings, smaller venues, or maximizing guest capacity.

• Considerations: With a narrower table, space is limited for large arrangements, so opt for streamlined centerpieces.

• Do’s and Don’ts:

  • Use small floral arrangements and bud vases to avoid crowding the table.

  • Use slim taper candle holders or votives to keep sightlines open.

  • Ensure space for table essentials by leaving small gaps between florals for bread baskets, salt and pepper shakers, etc.

  • Keep side plates to the left of the forks to leave room in the centre.

  • Don’t use garlands as they take up the entire centre length of the table, leaving no room for the necessities.

  • Don’t use charger plates as they will take up vital space.

36" Wide Tables

• Best for: Balanced table settings with more design flexibility.

• Considerations: Provides a good balance between ample tablescape design and service elements.

• Floral & Candle Ideas:

  • Use a variety of small to medium-sized floral arrangements staggered along the table’s center.

  • Incorporate varying heights with pillar candles, tapers, and votives to create depth and interest.

  • Leave room for communal dining items strategically between floral elements.

  • Keep side plates to the left of the forks to leave room in the centre.

  • Don’t use garlands as they take up the entire centre length of the table, leaving no room for the necessities.

40" Wide Tables

• Best for: Formal events and grand tablescapes with abundant decorative elements.

• Considerations: The extra width allows for larger statement arrangements without interfering with table settings and guest comfort.

• Floral & Candle Ideas:

  • Opt for lush, full floral centerpieces with ample space for a combination of taper and pillar candles and votives.

  • Use decorative runners or greenery garlands to create a layered effect.

Practical Tips for Incorporating Dinner Service Essentials

1. Account for Plating Needs: Ensure at least 24" of space per guest for dinnerware, glassware, and napkins.

2. Use Dual-Purpose Décor: Opt for low-profile floral arrangements that do not obstruct views or conversation. Use coloured candles to allow for design interest on the table.

3. Strategic Placement: Leave space between items so that they all have a moment to shine which also gives room for those dinner service elements. Don’t put coffee mugs and saucers on the table until coffee and tea are to be served.

4. Vary Heights for Interest: Mix taper candles, votives, and floral heights to add visual interest without overwhelming the space.

5. Mind Open Flames: If using candles, ensure they are in holders that prevent dripping wax onto the table.

Final Thoughts

Choosing the right tablescape for your event depends on your table width, aesthetic vision, and practical considerations for dining service. Whether you’re planning an intimate gathering or a grand affair, balancing florals, candles, and functional table elements will create an inviting and visually stunning experience for your guests.

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The Best First Dance Songs - A Playlist for You

Choosing a first dance song for a wedding is a deeply personal decision, as it often reflects any couple's relationship, memories, and individual tastes. It is important to remember to choose a song that resonates for you as a couple and will be a cherished memory for years to come. Think about times driving in the car, being at a coffee shop or out for dinner and that song comes on - it will forever be a symbol of your love for each other!

There are so many reasons why a first dance song is so important, and some of them include:

1. Symbolizes you as a couple and your relationship:

   • A first dance song is often some representation of a couple’s love or commitment to each other and reflects the emotion and journey they have shared. Lyrics could have an important meaning, or event the artist themselves!

   • It also shows off your personality! It shows your style, your uniqueness and is an opportunity for the couple to express themselves!

2. Sets the tone for the reception:

   • The first dance typically kicks off the dancing portion of the reception! Though, some couples also choose to do their first dance after they are announced into the reception to really kick off the dinner in a romantic way.

3. Creates a memorable moment:

   • A first dance speaks for itself - it is always something to remember! Whether you do a choreographed dance, or the song hits on the heart strings, a first dance brings out emotion and can be a lasting memory for all of your guests.

   • It is also a focal point of a wedding reception, and brings all of the guest together to celebrate and share their joy. It is one of the few moments that unites everyone at a reception, creating community and connection!

And, don’t forget, your first dance song can be played by both a wedding band or a DJ depending on the vibe of your wedding, and how you want the music to be portrayed!

Whether it's a classic ballad, a romantic contemporary hit, or something unique to you, the most important thing is that it holds special meaning for both of you. See below for some songs our past clients have used for their first dance for some inspiration!

You can also check out our playlists for Parent Dance Songs and Wedding Ceremony Songs here!

THE ULTIMATE FIRST DANCE SONG LIST

A Sunday Kind Of Love – Etta James

All Your'n – Tyler Childers

Amazing Day – Coldplay

At Last – Etta James

Baby I Love You – The Ramones

Beautiful Crazy – Luke Combs

Best Part (feat. H.E.R.) – Daniel Caesar

Beyond – Leon Bridges

Biblical – Calum Scott

Can't Help Falling in Love – Elvis Presley

Can’t Help Falling In Love – Kina Grannis

Challengers – The New Pornographers

Collide – Ed Sheeran

Daylight – Taylor Swift

Don’t Go Home Without Me (Acoustic) – Lights

Enchanted (Instrumental) – Taylor Swift

Every Side of You – Vance Joy

Fall on Me – Andrea Bocelli and Matteo Bocelli

Feels Like Home – Chantal Kreviazuk

Forever – Noah Kahan

Forever Like That – Ben Rector

Forever Young – Youth Group

From the Ground Up – Dan and Shay

Good Woman – Maren Morris

Heaven­ly Day – Patty Griffin

How Long Will I Love You – Canyon City

I’ll Quit Lovin’ You – Hardy

I Remember – Forest Blakk

If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys

In My Life – The Beatles

Into the Mystic – Van Morrison

Just You and I (Acoustic) – Tom Walker

Latch (Acoustic) – Sam Smith

Lifetime – Justin Bieber

Love Love Love – Say Hi

Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley

Lover – Taylor Swift

Lover Come Back – City and Colour

Lovely Day – Bill Withers

Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney

Nervous (Piano Version) – John Legend

Nobody Gets Me Like You Do (First Dance Version) – Arkells

Nothing Can Change This Love – Sam Cooke

Oh What A World – Kacey Musgraves

Party for Two – Shania Twain and Billy Currington

Perfect – Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé

Perfect Symphony – Ed Sheeran and Andrea Bocelli

Proof – Luca Fogale

Sparks – Coldplay

Stand By Me – Ben E. King

Steady Heart (Wedding Version) – Kameron Marlowe

Strangers in the Night – Frank Sinatra

Tenerife Sea – Ed Sheeran

The Rainbow Connection – Kermit the Frog

The Sweetest Love – Robin Thicke

The Way You Look Tonight – Frank Sinatra

The Wonder of You – Villagers

Then (Piano Mix) – Brad Paisley

Tian Mi Mi – Teresa Teng

Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden

Try – Blue Rodeo

Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers

Until I Found You – Stephen Sanchez & Em Behold

What A Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong

When I’m With You – Sheriff

Wild Love (Acoustic) – James Bay

Without You – Boyce Avenue

Wonderful – Chris Malinchak

Worship You – Kane Brown

XO – John Mayer

You Are the Best Thing – Ray LaMontagne

You Are the Reason – Calum Scott

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing – Leo Sayer

You Make My Dreams Come True - Tim Halperin

You’re Still the One – Teddy Swims

You’re Still the One – Shania Twain

You’re The One That I Want – John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John

Young and Beautiful – Lana Del Rey

Your Song – Elton John

Your Song - Ellie Goulding

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Getting to know your DJ with Jamie from QA Entertainment

Why is having a DJ so important for a wedding?

Jamie says, “I could not possibly imagine a celebration without music. Music evokes emotion, and a wedding day not only is a day full of love, but the right music can certainly heighten any and all emotion that comes with the big day.

A DJ is also so good at reading the room, and can play the right song at the right moment, something that is a huge drawback of having just a set playlist from Apple Music or Spotify. DJs are more versatile in many different genres of music that can be played, which is an advantage over having a live band that may only have a handful of music genres in their repertoire.”

Image by @rubiconphotog

What is your favourite part of your job?

Jamie says, “The best part of my job as a wedding DJ is the appreciation from couples when their expectations were exceeded. Also, the reaction from their guests as they are thoroughly enjoying the music. Playing great music truly never gets old.”

What is your best advice for couples when looking for the right DJ for them?

Jamie says, “Do your research! A good DJ vendor should have nothing to hide. Here are a few different things to check as you begin doing research:

• Reviews! Reviews from past clients is a good place to start. Here at QA Entertainment, our contract asks for reviews because we are confident in the final product.

• Social media (or just photos in general from past events) should be a resume for DJ vendors. If your DJ cannot share what a couples dance floor could look like throughout the night, that could be a red flag. A picture speaks a thousand words!

• Ask your DJ about their experience! Doesn’t hurt to ask where they’ve worked, how long, etc. A company could have been around for decades, but the DJ arriving on your wedding day could be newer, and have started as DJ less than a year ago. No big deal, just helpful to know and discuss in advance!

• Something to avoid? Listening to a DJs mixes online is not the best for choosing your wedding DJ. If they make a mistake on that mix, they can stop and re-record the mix. You need to be confident that your DJ can play live. Unlike many other wedding vendors, DJs have to be great in the moment as our talents are on display in real time.”

What can couples do to ensure you know what kind of party they want?

Jamie says, “Communication is key! Share the music you like and having a must play and do not play list is so important. It’s also more than just music - if you want a busy and full dance floor, you and your new spouse should be on the dance floor too! Tell you guests “the best wedding present is to meet you on the dance floor” and let us do the rest.

If you and your spouse are not big on dancing that is perfectly fine. Tell us about your guests, how old they are, where they are traveling from and what genres of music you believe they would appreciate for a more relaxed vibe.”

What could couples do to make your job easier during the planning process?

Jamie says, “It is important for couples to be clear with their expectations: whether it’s the music they would like to hear or the overall vibe they are looking for. QA Entertainment provides a detailed Online Wedding Planner tool which organizes the important milestones during a wedding day. Completing whatever your DJ (or any vendor) asks of you will provides us (or them) with ample time to prepare for your day exactly how you’d like it and is the best way to make life easier for everyone! It minimizes the guess work or rushing anything! Also, trust your vendors - you’ve booked a professional! We’ve got this.”

What are your thoughts on being an MC & a DJ at a wedding? Does it make it easier or harder for you when couples ask you to MC versus asking a friend?

Jamie says, “I love the personal touch of having friends or family appointed to MC a wedding. However, there are a few elements of MCing that a friend or family member may be unaware of due to lack of experience and we are always willing to provide pointers to help your chosen MC throughout the evening.

Do be aware that it certainly makes the event more challenging when asked to MC and DJ a wedding as it’s another hat we are required to wear. Wedding MCs must provide the appropriate energy during wedding party entrances, adhere to timelines, prepare speakers for toasts, phonetically pronounce names properly, speak on behalf of the venue; all while being charismatic during the process. Having a wedding planner also helps keep us on track as we juggle this extra task. Not an easy task, but certainly doable!”

What are your thoughts on being an MC & a DJ at a wedding? Does it make it easier or harder for you when couples ask you to MC versus asking a friend?

Jamie says, “I love the personal touch of having friends or family appointed to MC a wedding. However, there are a few elements of MCing that a friend or family member may be unaware of due to lack of experience and we are always willing to provide pointers to help your chosen MC throughout the evening.

Do be aware that it certainly makes the event more challenging when asked to MC and DJ a wedding as it’s another hat we are required to wear. Wedding MCs must provide the appropriate energy during wedding party entrances, adhere to timelines, prepare speakers for toasts, phonetically pronounce names properly, speak on behalf of the venue; all while being charismatic during the process. Having a wedding planner also helps keep us on track as we juggle this extra task. Not an easy task, but certainly doable!”

How do you best judge a crowd, keep the energy high, etc?

Jamie says, “I was fortunate to have a father who was a DJ and was thrown into the trenches of DJing events at the age of seven, therefore, experience is my main ally in judging crowds. Just like your guests will sit down and eat delicious meal from a talented chef, they will dance all night to a talented and experienced DJ. From my experience once a crowd knows you’re a great DJ, you will quickly earn their respect and appreciation which leads to a magical dance floor.

As mentioned, knowing how old your crowd is will not only inform any DJ on what decades of music to play, it will also aid in determining how long they would dance for, before getting tired, and when to pull back on higher energy songs for something lighter or easier to dance to. Another trick I have? You can learn a lot from how guests respond to the music being played during cocktail hour and dinner.

Lastly, there are generally three types of guests at a wedding and there is one you should focus on the most. But, that’s a whole different conversation. Reach out to me on social media and we can talk about it in depth - my inbox is open!”

Learn more about Jamie on his website, and learn more about what QA Entertainment has to offer.

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How to Avoid Awkward Wedding Situations

Let Your Vendors / Planners Know of Sensitive Family Relationships

Most planners will ask this question, as will other vendors like photographers, but it is important to let your vendors know of any sensitive family relationships or situations that could cause awkwardness on the day. As vendors, we want to ensure you have a smooth day and so making a misstep and assuming certain situations is definitely something we want to avoid! Anything from parents, to grandparents, to sibling relationships can all be advised. Don’t feel like you have to provide all details - just enough so we can help you feel comfortable!

Signature Dances with Parents

In an ever changing world, traditions are shifting, and this includes parent dances. For a lot of people, relationships with parents vary and can have different levels of closeness. Sometimes there is even a parent missing for a whole range of reasons. It’s hard to do these dances with all of that in mind. Some suggestions we have:

• It is totally fine to not do these dances. No one is saying you have to! This can be helpful if your partner does not have a parent present, or does not have a close relationship with whom the traditional parent dance is associated.

• Acknowledging parents in other ways. This can include:

  • Toasts (inviting them to speak or acknowledging them in your own speech)

  • Memory tables

  • Having one parent walk you down the aisle vs. one do the signature dance

  • Videos during the reception

  • Have them do a reading during the ceremony

• Changing up the dance

  • Do you have step parents you’d like to acknowledge? You could do half the song with a step parent and half the song with the other parent.

  • You can also swap partners throughout the dance - for example, you do half the dance with a father in law and half the dance with your own dad!

• Combined parent dances

  • Another way to not bring attention to things, or avoid the spotlight on a relationship, is to do combined parent dances and dance all four people at the same time

Having Trouble Hearing Back from Vendors

In the beginning, give them grace. A lot of vendors spend a lot of time working outside their emails, especially during a busy wedding season! Monday is our Sunday! However, if you are consistently not hearing back from them, politely explain that you would like more communication and provide them the opportunity to explain their work style, hours and response times.

However, before getting to this place, it is important to set these expectations early and have these conversations! We all work hard, and things can be crazy busy, but be sure to protect what you’re expecting based details outlined in the contract.

Always Do A Hair and Makeup Trial

Having your hair and makeup done, if you choose to, can be a very important part of your day. Lots of us have different types of skins, or tones, which can make having professional makeup done a little more tricky. It is so important to have a trial before your wedding day so that everything is how it looks, and if anything reacts to products, you know well in advance. Or, if your beauty artist needs to purchase an alternate product, they have the time to do so. Similarly, it allows opportunity to work with your hair stylist to ensure the style you are after works well with your hair type while answering any questions you have about the look for the day.

Managing Family - and Parents

Sometimes your friends and family are more excited than anything for your big day and can get a bit carried away with details, getting swept up in the joy of the day. Having expectations set before the day, or during the planning process, between yourself and any key friends or family is so important. Have open communication, remind them that it is your day, and include them in other ways so that they feel heard and seen. You can also have someone be the main point of contact between yourself and anyone else, so that they have a discreet “handler” for any situation. It can feel uncomfortable and awkward, but you also want to ensure you enjoy your day to the fullest!

An Old Friend or Co-Worker Assumes They’re Invited

Before invites go out, and after you’ve announced the engagement, some friends or co-workers begin to ask questions about the wedding details. And it can get awkward if you already know that haven’t been added to the list. A lot of emotions come with this - guilt, anxiety, annoyance - each and every one is very understandable. If you’re comfortable in the moment, you can acknowledge that the list isn’t done, or that details are not yet confirmed. It is more than okay to gently mention that space is limited at the event and the guest list will reflect this.

A rule of thumb for all guests - never assume!

A Guest Gets Too Drunk

A lot of us have been here. Maybe not at a wedding, but in any social situation with a flow of alcohol. It can be uncomfortable, awkward, etc. No matter who this person is, it is not the couple’s sole responsibility and we highly recommend having a designated person on each partner’s side to be the “on-call” person to help address any situations. The venue should still be there from a security standpoint, but someone to discuss next steps with, should someone be too drunk. Talk to your vendors ahead of time to have a discreet plan ready so that you can stay focused on your big day!

A Guest Shows Up With An Unexpected Plus One, or Kids

This can, and does, still happen. As unfortunate as it is, it is something to be addressed. In the moment, use your best judgment. Will this person cause a rift with any family or friends? Will it cause any logistical issues? If not, there is a way to communicate this with your venue and your coordinator to swiftly add them to a table, and address having one additional meal. It isn’t ideal, we know, but this can be handled so that you can still enjoy your day! And perhaps, having a light conversation with this person after the wedding!

If you do not want this person there, at the end of the day, you reserve every right to deny their entry. Have a family member or friend who an stay calm address the situation based on your wants.

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How to Plan the Bar at a Wedding

When you think about a wedding, often the first thing that comes to mind is food, closely followed by alcohol: the open bar! This has become super common at weddings, but it can be incredibly confusing when looking at all of the information from your venue, or if you’re doing your own private property event!

Below is some information on how to plan the bar at a wedding depending on the type of event you’re having, and how to navigate what type of bar to have.

Overview

First things first, across any type of wedding, is knowing your friends and family best and also knowing what type of event you want to have. Weddings are a celebratory event so accounting for a slightly higher consumption than usual can often avoid extra charges in the end.

It’s important to keep in mind as well that your guest count impacts the amount spent on drinks for the night. The more people you have, the more you’ll spend. Consider that this is a “night out” and so an average cost for a night out on the town is a good ballpark for the amount per person at a wedding.

In the end, it all comes down to budget and your guests. Whatever makes the most sense for the wedding you are looking for as a couple.

Types of Bars

Open Bar

There are also a few versions of open bars to consider, based on your guests and party vibe:

Bar Package:

• Bar packages will charge a fixed price per adult guest. This is a good option if your group likes to drink. Importantly, the hosts also know the cost upfront. There aren’t any surprises at the end.

Consumption Bar:

• Pricing by consumption means that the hosts are paying for the number of drinks ordered; the more the guests drink, the higher the tab will be. This is a good option if most of your crowd aren’t big drinkers, and whatever is consumed will be counted up at the end of the night. Note that venues will clear abandoned glassware as to stay on top of clutter and the washing so often, a guest will put their drink down to go dance and come back to their drink having disappeared so will order another, which can drive up the cost.

Open bars generally include tiered types of packaging such as standard vs premium.

Cash Bar

At a cash bar, guests pay for their own drinks just as they would if they were out for dinner or at a bar. Having a cash bar saves the couple, or hosts, money but does set a different tone for guests as they will be the ones required to pay for their drinks all evening. You’ll have to consider that guests will pay for each drink, tip the bartenders and close out tabs which can add to service times throughout the night. However, this is a great option if the majority of guests are not drinking and does not need to be the focal point of the celebration. We highly suggest notifying guests in advance so there are no surprises on the day.

Some venues offer a mix of open bars and cash bars. For example, open bar from 5pm-9pm and cash bar after dinner at 9pm.

Dry Bar

Of course, there is the option to forgo alcohol altogether and host a dry wedding. This could be for religious or cultural reasons or just because of the atmosphere the couple wishes to create. Serving only non-alcoholic drinks will result in significant savings - a whole budget line is eliminated!

Are you getting married at a venue?

Here are some general tips to consider if you are getting married at a bricks and mortar venue.If you are planning a private property event, keep scrolling!

Here are the main questions to ask when you are first starting to plan:

• How long is the bar open for and what is included?

• Will the bar be open during dinner or will there only be wine service to the tables? If the bar is closed during dinner, will guests be able to order a mixed drink from their server? Will the wine be left on the tables for top ups?

• What upgrades to alcohol brands are included and what additions to the menu can be accommodated? For example, if you prepare one type of vodka over another, make sure to ask if this can be incorporated!

• Does the venue have a liquor license, or will you be required to purchase an SOP and the alcohol associated? While this option isn’t as common as it used to be, there still are some venues that function this way! If so, are there corkage fees?

• Will signature cocktails be accommodated and what are the limitations surrounding this?

By going through these questions, in relation to what packages and types of bar your venue offers, you can narrow down what you are looking for and how much it will cost.

Are you getting married on private property?

Here are some general tips to consider if you are planning a private property wedding, and are not getting married in a traditional venue.

• Catering or Bar Team

  • You will need to discuss with your catering team the limitations of their bar services, and if they are included or not. From there, you will need to consider hiring a bar service with smart serve trained bartenders to ensure alcohol consumption is monitored and safe!

• Storing the alcohol

  • Ice and coolers, or enough refrigerated space, will need to be considered before purchasing any alcohol. Where will this be stored? How will staff get access to this for ease of service? Refrigerated trucks to sit in driveways are an excellent solution for this!

• Legal paperwork requirements

  • You may be required to obtain permits in order to purchase alcohol and host your evening legally and successfully. In Ontario, this is called an SOP (Special Occassion Permit) and you can view all the details on the AGCO website.

  • It is also a good idea to get the right event insurance with alcohol liability coverage, to ensure you are fully covered for the night.

• Purchasing Alcohol

  • When looking to consider how much to purchase, our rule of thumb tends to be to calculate 1.5 drinks per person, per hour that the bar is open. This is a bit on the high end but accounts for toasts or celebratory moments.

  • Then you’ll need to consider the type of alcohol you’d like to offer. Are you doing a full range open bar? Just beer and wine? Champagne toast? Here are our suggestions:

    • Just beer and wine: 40% beer, 60% wine

    • Beer, wine, and spirits: 30% beer, 40% wine, 30% spirits (usually 1-2 bottles of 4-5 types of liquor works)

    • Champagne toast? Account for one glass per person, with one bottle serving 5 guests.

    • You can always add a 10% buffer on each thing purchased as well, just in case!

  • Don’t forget to buy soft drinks and water! You’ll want mixes for cocktails, soft drinks for those who want something different, or for those who don’t drink. And always lots of water, especially on hot summer days! We suggest buying 5-gallon water bottles and electric or hand pumps for water service for dinner if there is no water access available.

Alix Gould Photography

Will Reid Photo

Christine Lim Weddings

Cleland Photographs

BONUS TIPS

When purchasing through the LCBO on your SOP, you can return anything that is UNopened and labels intact! So you can purchase a little extra, and return if needed.

Check that your bartenders will be providing garnishes (ie. lemons, limes, cherries, etc.) or add them to your shopping list if required.

On warm days, guests will likely drink more white wine vice versa, on colder days, guests will likely drink more red wine.

We recommend planning between 1.5 and 2.5 pounds of ice per person with the higher end being for both in drinks and for cooling them.

Keep in mind that leaving bottles on the table during dinner invites guests to consume more quickly as its always within reach or to be heavy with their pours. It also means more bottles will be opened, leaving unfinished bottles once the dance floor starts when guests typically switch to mixed drinks, leaving lots of waste at the end.

A planner and caterer are also able to help calculate all of these things for you, and use a simple alcohol calculator to ensure you’re buying the correct quantities for your wedding!

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